Harlene Dela Torre-McIlwain

Are you often self-critical, with a negative or harsh voice in your head? Do you feel suffocated by shame, “not good enough-ness”, and unworthiness and the sense of aloneness that follows? Maybe you’ve had these thoughts for a long time, learned from past trauma or an unsupportive environment you grew up in. These painful experiences can hinder you from living a rewarding, joyful life. If this sounds familiar, I understand and am here to help. I specialize in trauma-informed therapy for anxiety, depression, Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), chronic self-criticism, identity, relationships, life transitions, and LGBTQIA+ affirming care.

My work is integrative and experiential. Rather than working primarily through insight or analysis, we work with what's alive in the room: the body, the image, the feeling, the relational moment between us. This means gently moving beyond just talking, noticing what arises in the present moment, sensations, emotions, images, and the meanings they carry, and staying with them long enough to hear what they're holding.

This work is trauma-informed and relationally grounded, drawing on Interpersonal Neurobiology, IFS-informed Parts Work, somatic approaches, Coherence Therapy, and elements of AEDP. Throughout, your feedback matters. If something isn't landing or doesn't feel right, I want to know. You are an active participant in shaping how we work together!

Our first session is both a chance to begin getting to know each other and a focused, purposeful conversation. We'll explore what's bringing you to therapy, what feels most pressing, and what you're hoping for. From there we'll agree together on a clear focus for our work. Your sense of what matters most is the compass. Nothing moves forward without your consent, and everything we do is an invitation. We move at a pace that feels right for you.