Ray Kaffer

Welcome!

Therapy with me is oriented first and foremost toward the process of building a connected relationship between you and me. I see our relationship as our best tool for creating change, even above factors like therapy style, theory, or approach. Sessions with me often feel intimate, deep, and rich, while also feeling comfortable, casual, and collaborative. I like to take our sessions seriously, without it feeling "too serious".

My areas of interest and expertise are connected to identity formation, life transition, trauma, disaster/refugee experiences, adolescence, and perinatal mental health & parenthood. My therapeutic approach is rooted in Interpersonal Process theory, and supported by Humanistic, Narrative, Feminist/Multicultural, and CBT/DBT influences.

My approach is heavily relationship based. I'm client-led, which means I don't see myself as an authority but instead see you as the ultimate authority on you. I hold a lot of space for the identities that show up in session. Identities like one's race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, but also identities like "parent," "athlete," "nerd," "nature-lover," "person of faith," or "professional." I use an Interpersonal Process theory as my backbone, and that looks like bringing events and patterns from your outside life into our relationship to explore new ways of feeling and responding that can lead to new outcomes.

A trend I notice in my work is that the initial handful of sessions are primarily focused on gaining skills and tools to help with the immediate stresses and struggles that have brought a client to therapy. But quickly after some stability is established, a shift towards deeper and more meaningful goals naturally takes place.

I don't set goals for my clients but instead like to set goals collaboratively with my clients and allow you to lead. Goals often cover both of phases listed above: short term goals to help with distress and struggle, and long term goals for lasting change. Clients frequently report at the end of their time in therapy that they feel like they understand themselves better, and that they now know how to help themselves avoid the same old pitfalls or ways of being that have caused problems in the past.