I have had a high rate of success in working with couples who seek to strengthen their relationship. I have almost 40 years of professional behavioral healthcare experience of which 20 years is working with military service members and have developed a program which is based on my decades of experiences with couples, inspired by the Gottmans’ research. I have identified 7 characteristics of successful couple relationships and have developed worksheets for couples to evaluate themselves and take action to improve their relationship on each of the 7 characteristics, as well as on the 7 characteristics to avoid which harms and weakens relationships. My experience confirms that the more motivated a couple is and the harder they work to improve the 7 Cs of a strong relationship, the more progress they will make. Of course, progress never moves smoothly along a straight line, but it usually consists of 2 steps forward and 1 step back, since changing unhealthy habits takes time and we learn from the habits that need improvement. I use a similar formula during counseling sessions with individuals, which includes enhancement of problem-solving skills and enhancement of decision-making skills. Simultaneously, as participants learn these skills, a healthy mindset is developed via cognitive restructuring. Individuals learn to challenge negative self-talk using the “Negative Thought Monster,” as we explore what lessons can be learned from their negative experiences. I believe that “a positive can always be found in a negative.” Obsessing on stressors becomes minimized and a positive psychological mindset is developed. As Buddha said, “The problem is NOT the problem, but your reaction is the problem.” So, being able to upload a “Pause” button allows the client to slow down reaction-time and respond appropriately and constructively with increased emotional wellbeing.
I enjoy providing value for both couples and individuals, and I look forward to working with you.
