Wes Murphy

Maybe you're a teenager and everything feels like too much and you can't explain why to anyone at home. Or perhaps you're in your twenties and the panic showed up out of nowhere and now you're bracing for the next one. Maybe you lost someone and everyone around you seems to have already moved on. Reaching out to a new person is hard enough — especially a bald man with a mustache — so genuine credit to you for getting this far. I'm Wes Murphy, and I spent eight years as a school counselor before moving into private practice, which means I've sat with a lot of middle schoolers, teens, and twenty-somethings through friendships falling apart, conflict at home, anger they didn't know what to do with, loss, panic attacks, and the long project of actually liking who you are. I've personally been through and still manage a good number of the things on that list, so I'm not guessing at what it feels like. I earned my Master of Education from Lincoln Memorial University. And if you're a parent reading this on behalf of your kid — I'm used to being the first adult outside the family they'll talk to, and I don't take that lightly.

My approach is a partnership. I'll use any resource I've got if it's useful to you, and I'd rather be genuinely helpful than impressive. Early on we set concrete action steps, so progress is something we can measure rather than guess at, and so we're being efficient with your time. I lean solution-focused and strength-based — I'm more interested in what's already working in your life than in building a long list of what isn't. I also pay close attention to attachment, the patterns you learned about closeness and trust long before you had any say in them, and I use cognitive behavioral and dialectical behavioral therapy for the practical skills, especially when emotions are moving faster than you can keep up with. With teenagers, I'm clear from the start about what stays between us and what doesn't — at that age, trust is the whole thing.

Our first meeting is mostly about getting to know each other and figuring out what you actually want out of this. Some people want structure right away — a plan, steps, something to do. Others need a relaxed place to process out loud first, and that's equally fine; I'll follow your lead rather than run a script. I'll ask what brought you in now, what's been hardest lately, what you've already tried, and who's around you. If you're not sure what your goals are, that's normal, and figuring that out is part of the work. Before we finish we'll land on a direction, even a loose one. Folks usually leave the first meeting with some sense of direction and hope, and that's what I'm going for.