David Chmielecki

A client comes in to see her therapist and is 10 minutes late. She sits down and apologizes for her tardiness, to which the therapist replies that no apologies are necessary as clients are only late for their first session.

The vignette illustrates something that I see in clients repeatedly who come into my office. Many should have come in at least a year or two ago but for some reason think that the problems they experience are still manageable.

While I admire the will of many of those who still manage life like the proverbial Dutch Boy and the dike, I believe that asking for help is a strength of its own. In therapy, I come from the perspective of someone that had to receive help at various times in my life. I've also had a meandering career path, meaning that I've worked in several fields and industries prior to becoming a therapist and have been able to do ground-level empathizing with people who work in blue and white-collar professions.

Because of my life path, I'm able to effectively mentalize with issues that clients are going through. I've been told that I have the ability to understand a client's experience from their point of view, which makes them feel more welcome and that they won't be judged. I've often worked with people who have either given up or have given up on finding meaning their lives and feel they are consigned to a life of a gray mediocrity at best. I've also worked with couples who feel deadlocked into a seemingly never-ending cycle of arguments that are interrupted only by a fragile peace.

The client and I will get to work starting with session #1. In my experience, clients want their emotional pain gone yesterday. The work we do will become part of the rapport building and he/she will be given one or two tools when they leave on session one. Of course, said tools won't be everything, but they will definitely be a start.